Parents share experiences, form a bond in the Heartspring Lobby

Having a child with special needs can be very rewarding. It can also be overwhelming. Often parents do not know where to turn for help. Most of their friends may not understand their challenges. Every day can be a struggle. There is a place where parents have found solace – a room where moms, dads, grandparents and caregivers can go where others understand exactly how they feel. That place is the Heartspring Pediatric Services Lobby.

Each week, parents bring their children to Heartspring for a variety of reasons to see one (or sometimes two or three) of the many therapists. Regardless of their child’s need, all parents come to Heartspring seeking the opportunity to improve their son or daughter’s quality of life. At Heartspring children are accepted for who they are. The building and the people in it help to provide a sense of normalcy. “It’s nice to feel welcomed,” said Susan, whose son Peter comes to Heartspring for occupational, physical and speech therapies. “I never feel judged as a parent, or that Peter is being judged for being behind and having special needs.”

“Everyone that goes to Heartspring knows that the children have a deficit in one area or another and they don’t judge, they don’t stare, they don’t ask questions, they don’t have a puzzled look on their faces. In public we get that a lot,” said Becca, who has two sons receiving therapy.

In fact, the lobby offers parents a sanctuary where they can seek guidance and share with each other various challenges as well as successes.

“At first we walked into a room of strangers and before we knew it, we discovered a bond and became friends and confidants,” said Sherry, who spends an hour and a half at Heartspring each week for her son, Clint. “It’s very important for us to be able to speak to other parents and caregivers of special needs children because they know and understand the challenges facing our entire family because they live it 24/7 just as we do.”

“We met a family with a son who is almost identical to Brandon in age, issues and likes/dislikes,” said Lynette, whose son Brandon was diagnosed with autism. “ It’s interesting and helpful to compare our challenges and successes to try different things to help our son. It’s like an informal support group.”

For many years Lori and Shawn said that they felt like they were the only ones who understood their pain. Now they know that there are others who have similar frustrations. “As a parent of a special needs child, it can be overwhelming,” said Lori. “We are all on a special team together, so let us be strong and help each other out.”

According to Kerry, the grandmother of a child with special needs, just walking into Heartspring is comforting. “Knowing that the entire place, from the building to the children’s building blocks, is here to help our children achieve all they can is empowering,” she said. 

For Davina, who comes to Heartspring twice a week with her son Cameron, the lobby is an open atmosphere to exchange questions, advice and understanding for each other. Most importantly, she said, it is a place to gain hope. “There are dark times when your child is diagnosed with a disorder. You don’t know what the future holds and you image the worst and hope for the best,” she said. “Meeting parents who have been through it can give you hope when they give you advice or tell you how much their child has achieved. At the same time, giving advice to someone who has just had a child diagnosed is fulfilling because I remember how lost I felt during that time, and if I can prevent even a small amount of that grief for someone else, I feel my own grief has been worth it.”

Kay, whose son Jacob comes to Heartspring for speech therapy, echoes Davina’s sentiment, “I see a lot of young parents and I really want them to know that the most important thing they can do for their children is love them for who they are and advocate the best they can for them.”

Building relationships within the walls of Heartspring has been beneficial for countless parents and caregivers.

“We are all members of the same club,” said Kerry. “The caregiver to caregiver information exchange can be an invaluable resource. If we can share useful tips with each other, we do. I have learned more in a few minutes of talking with other caregivers on any given subject than I would have reading a dozen books.”

Topics of conversation vary from therapies, doctors and dentists, schools, research, diets, behavior management, sleep methods, potty training, even where to go to get a haircut that won’t result in a tantrum.

“I had one mother ask me how I got Peter to keep his glasses on,” said Susan.

“Information is power,” said Kerry. “And when we are having an energy crisis, we go to another caregiver for a recharge. We don’t see any of these individuals outside of Heartspring, however, they truly are a lifeline for us.”

Parents aren’t the only ones building special relationships in the Heartspring lobby. “When I attend my boys’ sessions on Wednesday afternoon, there is a mother who brings her son in for occupational therapy. My youngest has gotten to know her and as soon as he sees her car pull in the parking lot, he’s glued to the window waiting for her to come in. She hugs him, asks us how we are, what progress the boys have made,” said Becca. “You just feel as if you have a lot in common with other parents. You may not be going through the same things as them, but you share a common bond.”

“I like that other children are there and it gives Peter a chance to ‘socialize’ with other children with special needs,” said Susan.

Sherry’s son Clint has a service dog named Micah that he brings with him to Heartspring. “The other families enjoy seeing her weekly and the other children love spending time with her before and after their therapies,” said Sherry.

Thanks to many generous donors who gave graciously through a special program request during Heartspring’s annual Lights on the Lake Preview Party auction, including NuStar who contributed a lead gift of $2,000, the lobby recently underwent a transformation, making it a comfortable and casual environment, said Kimberly Becker, director of Pediatric Services.

“The lobby’s furniture and décor are comfortable, warm and inviting,” said Sherry. “We also love the playroom because it helps the children feel welcome and lessens anxiety levels. It also helps keep siblings occupied.”

“I like the bright colors and pictures on the walls of other children working with the therapists,” said Susan. “I think it personalizes it, and makes it feel more like a home than a medical facility.”

Kerry feels comfortable in the lobby because her child is comfortable and safe. “We’re all there for the same thing,” she said. “Our children.”

For mothers like Susan, Heartspring has become a second home. “We are all changed for the better every time we enter and leave again,” she said. “We couldn’t be luckier.”